How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
