her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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