I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You have to summon your inner elephant
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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