If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
