i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
