Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
