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I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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