CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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