Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
