never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
