Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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