i may or may not be watching the land before time
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
