i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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