Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize