Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm too high and old for this...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
