kristin has been a bad kristin
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize