she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
