Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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