Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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