I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
