sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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