1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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