we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
