im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The power of my boobs compel you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
