Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
