i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
