I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
