when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
