i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
