Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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