We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
