If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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