We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize