people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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