Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
