I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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