I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
