I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Come share oat with me in your robe
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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