Can i not drive my cunt home
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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