omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
