I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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