he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
