Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
