Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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