arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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