is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I love you.
Bad choice
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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