The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
3 2 1 whiskey
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize