never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
