I CAN MOONWALK!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
even my farts smell like vagina
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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