Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
this is an emotional support booty call
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
