Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
