i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
