It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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