You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
