I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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