Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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