Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Couch. On fire.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
