I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
