I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
