1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize