youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
