yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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