I just made out with a guy for $7.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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