Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
