i think i have herpe
just one?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
