If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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