so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
