Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
