i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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