What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
