We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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