I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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