I love black thongs
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
