dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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