Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
